It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
