4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
