Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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