you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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