i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
