No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
