How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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