She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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