You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
