That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
