If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
