pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
