I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He passed out mid-signature
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
