Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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