Yo dont text me then not text me
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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