i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
