Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize