dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
