My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
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