we're chasing vodka with high fives
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize