the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
