I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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