She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
