Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
