5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
