The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
