Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
