So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
