My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
