i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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