"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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