He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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