Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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