I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
