youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
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