i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
