Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
