From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize