one two three fourrrrnication!
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Randomize
