at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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