I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
