i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
