I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
