they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
So vagazzling was a success
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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