i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
