so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He passed out mid-signature
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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