hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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