Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Be still, my beating vagina.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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