And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
