Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I have tasted many bathrooms
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
