Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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