Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
