I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
