so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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