I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
