i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I didn't notice because vodka
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
