so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
