how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
