I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
