you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
