like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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